We’re back with our next edition of movie sequels and it’s Aditya Chopra’s mammoth blockbuster Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge this time. Though known for its rather predictable and sappy happy ending, DDLJ is a cult classic for all intents and purposes. The lovers Raj and Simran unite, board the train and fade into their happily-ever-after.
We were pretty young when we saw DDLJ and being innocent, unsuspecting kids we just assumed that this was the end. Premi-Premika travel away to a far off land, get married and happily ever after. We’re older now. And if there is one thing do know, it is this: a happy ending is the last thing that Raj and Simran would’ve gotten. Why?
Let us explain in our version of the DDLJ sequel:
So the sequel picks up where they left it. Simran and Raj elope and get married and move to London with Raj’s dad. Now here’s the deal- Raj and Simran never really did date. Forget dating, they never even had a serious conversation.
After the honeymoon phase (read: sexy timez), as Biswa and Kanan predicted, the cracks start to appear because they literally had nothing in common. 5 years later they decide to get divorced.
Raj’s father hears this, gets a heart attack and dies (indigenius plot twist).
Back home, Kuljeet, who had been cheated on and dumped in front of everybody, spent the last 5 years devising a plan to murder Raj and Simran. He flies off to London to take revenge.
Little does he know, Raj has returned to India. Raj goes to his sasural to break the news. Upon his return, he gets to know that the chick he rejected, Preeti, is the nation’s hottest supermodel. And completely out of his league.
A heartbroken Raj then notices that Chutki is fine AF (and TOTALLY LEGAL) now. Raj hooks up with Chutki but bua finds out. So obviously, they take her out and flee together.
Chutki later realizes she’s out of Raj’s league and dumps him. Womanizer Raj spends the rest of his life alone and miserable cuz that’s what you get.
Kuljeet reaches London and sees Simran alone and miserable. The kabuutars are gone too. It’s just Simran. His heart melts and he tries to hook up with her.
And then she says.
Shoots her on the spot.
Kuljeet now roams the streets of London, lonely and heartbroken. A hot firang sees him in a bar, they hook up, fall in love and get married.
Kuljeet lives happily ever after cuz Raj and Simran were 2 selfish egocentric pricks who deserved to be miserable. The real dilwala took his dulhania.
The end
