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Earwax candle, fart spray and 19 other quirky gifts for Diwali that no one would expect

It's not too late to brighten up Diwali

• By: Fukres |
• August 6, 2017 1:15 am

• Tags: Diwali,

Haven’t picked out a Diwali gift for your friends and family yet? We have the solution for you. Here are 21 gifts that are so quirky that nobody would expect them.

Hello Kitty Instant Camera

Originally meant or children, this is the perfect gift for a grown-up man. Don’t forget to capture their reaction with this instant camera. If you’re interested, click here to buy.

Ass Fart Spray

It does precisely what it says. It releases a foul, rotting, old-cheese fart that would stink up an entire place. So, if you want to take revenge on your relatives staying over and always hogging the toilet, use this to make their peaceful toilet time absolutely miserable. You can buy this stinky can of old farts right here.

Pig Fanny Bank

Still looking for a safe place to keep your coins? Well, slide ’em up a pig’s butt. I’m serious! It’s better than dropping coins in the couch or under the bed. Every time you make a deposit in this bank, it reverts with a loud, disgusting fart sound. Click here to buy this hilarious gift.

The Swearing Finger

This battery-driven, motion activated swearing finger is another amazing find. Besides flipping the bird, this device also knows how to blurt out a few cuss words like, “shit for brains” and “hey dickhead”. You can buy this product here.

Beer Drinking Hat

This beer drinking helmet is as handy as it gets. Want to set up Diwali decorations and then kick back with a cold one? Save yourself some time and do both simultaneously. Works for any drinking can, except sprite. You don’t wanna look stupid drinking sprite now, do you? Click here to buy.

Never Too Hungover

Remember your last year’s Diwali party. If it was total booze fest then you probably remember the next morning really, REALLY well. Hangovers almost immediately suck the fun out of the whole night. Try and keep this year’s Diwali memories unmarred with Never Too Hungover. After gulping down booze to your heart’s content, make yourself drink this and you never have to worry about the morning after. Purchase it here before you head out to the bar.

Pet Sweep

Disclaimer: Never judge a book by its cover. Make someone’s Diwali great by offering them a helping hand with all the cleaning, or their pet’s. At least let them think that that’s what it is. You see, it’s a gag gift that’s just a gift box. Kinda like how I click-baited you to this article. Click here to buy this “pet sweep”.

Grow A Girlfriend/Boyfriend

Are you single? Who are you kidding, of course, you are… The next time you feel lonely or unwanted, just stop and grow your own girlfriend/boyfriend. But yeah, they’re really not good with the “where is this relationship going?” talk or any other talk for that matter. Click here if you’re interested in girls and here for guys. Or click ’em both. Nobody’s judging.

Bag Of Unicorn Farts

Yeah, it’s just strawberry flavoured cotton candy. It’s not an actual bag of unicorn farts, duh! Don’t you know it yet? Unicorns don’t fart. The fun begins when people start eating it. Click here to buy.

Earwax Candle

Light up your beautiful Diwali with this gorgeous earwax candle. Wait, wtf! Gross, right? Luckily it’s not actual ear wax but it does look pretty realistic (and totally dope af). Click here to buy this gorgeous work of art.

Nose Pencil Sharpener

Feel like grossing someone out? Try this fun pencil sharpener made into the shape of a nose. You must resist the urge to dig for gold in there, though. You might cut your finger on the blades. Click here to buy.

The ‘Fuck It’ Button

Aren’t there ever times when life gets so stressful that you can’t help but think, “Aah! Fuck it.” Well, get this button to speak out that one resounding thought in your mind. This sound button blurts out 10 different phrases in hilarious tones and helps vent out all the stress that just keeps piling up. You can buy this gag gift here.

Spin Chill Beerosphere

This portable beer-chiller is a godsend! Just stick your beer bottle or can in ice, attach it to the Spin Chill, spin it for a few minutes and your chilled beer is ready to be consumed. You can buy this product here.

Shakespear Insult Bandage

Add a cold-hearted burn to your wounds with these Shakespearean bandages. The product includes 15 bandages bearing mean insults like, “Thou wit’s as thick as Tewksbury mustard.” Click here to buy these hilarious bandages.

Predict-A-Pen

Kinda like a magic eight ball except it doesn’t contain that disgusting liquid inside it. If you ever find yourself at crossroads about a decision, just ask this pen a question, click the top and bam! You have your answer. Click here to buy this amazing problem-solver.

Design Worlds Pendrive

Here’s a little something for your forever alone buddies (yes, we know you are that buddy). If you’re not going to be going in-and-out of something, at least let your computer’s USB port get on with some of that action. Purchase this pendrive here.

Lennon Sunglasses

Bring back the 70’s fashion with these round retro sunglasses. A perfect gift for fans of The Beatles. Click here to buy these Lennon sunglasses.

Bone Pen

You know which other festival is coming up? Halloween! Gift someone this authentic bone-like pen that measures up to 6 inches in length. A 6 inch long bone, heh… Anyway, also a great present for anyone studying human anatomy, this product comes with a pack of 12 pens in amazing shapes. If you’re interested, buy this product here.

Masaba Lite Phone Cover

‘What does a nosy chili do? Gets Jalapeno business.’
Still confused about what to buy this festive season? Well, a phone cover can never go wrong. Especially one with puns so bad, that they’re funny. Check out this product here.

Have A Nice Day Mug

Tired of giving the fake smile with the occasional “aap kaise hai, aunty ji?” Well, look no further. This mug expresses your emotions perfectly. No, really. Just drink from it when your relatives are around and they’ll know better than to mess with you. Click here to buy this mug.

Samsung Gear VR

Shut out your friends and family this Diwali and immerse yourself into a virtual reality. The Samsung Gear VR allows you to watch movies in 3D and explore real and virtual places. The best part? You won’t have to deal with any relatives in there. Hah! To buy this product, click here.